He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
