You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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