Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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