Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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