Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
