Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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