ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
