it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
