i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
