dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
