Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
"it" just moved
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
