sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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