all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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