Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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