Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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