I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
