you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
