glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
