you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
