Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
