I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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