I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
