your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
