he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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