Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize