Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
