Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
