ya dads aren't the best wingmen
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
