So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
