So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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