yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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