He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
