ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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