I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
