STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i out mim tonsoeep
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