i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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