The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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