would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
