my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
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