I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
