just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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