I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
