At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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