i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
