that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
