She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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