This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
