another moral hangover. fuck.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
