We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
