she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
