Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
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